Books » No Substitute For Mimes (Book 12 in the Subbing Isn’t For Sissies Series)

Suddenly, mimes seem to be everywhere in Reckless River, Washington. Their antics amuse residents at first. Then street theater gives way to street crime. Fast, organized, and armed with cream pies, mimes avoid capture. And they baffle police by delivering stolen items to the cop shop.

Barbara Reed suspects the thefts are designed to frustrate and misdirect authorities, increasing the success of a major heist. Crime reporter Stan Stewart agrees, but his investigation gets nowhere. Mimes aren’t talking.

Barb would like to help track facts, but she has a bad cold and a new assistant principal is making her subbing life miserable. On top of that, Mrs. Ballantine is pushing her to set a wedding date, and she’s been guilt-tripped into helping at an outdoor holiday market.

When mimes set their big plan in motion, Barb and her tiny mutt Cheese Puff are in exactly the wrong place. Or are they?

Is a fanatical stalker too much relationship baggage?

Emma Preston wrestles with that question when her friend Livinia falls for a former radio personality on the run from a crazed fan. After months of living off the grid, on the road, and under the internet radar, Phil Michaels hopes the obsessed woman has given up the hunt. But Emma and former cop Spencer Rutledge have their doubts.

So do Emma’s ghostly pals, The Three Shades of Justice. The spirits patrol the grounds of the Reckless River Retirement Community, but even on high alert they can’t be everywhere and see everything. And when Emma and her friends enter a major trivia contest, the Shades find their protective powers put to the test—a test they just might fail.

When substitute teacher Barbara Reed turned wedding planning over to her wealthy neighbor Muriel Ballantine, she knew the event wouldn’t be what she and Dave asked for—small, simple, and sane. What she didn’t know was that murder would block her path to the altar.

As Dave races the clock to find a killer and free a friend from suspicion, Barb struggles to free herself from makeup artists intent on changing her casual appearance. Meanwhile, her overbearing sister offers unwanted advice about men and matrimony, and an ardent admirer hopes she’ll ditch the groom before she reaches the end of the aisle.

The chaos rolls on in Reckless River, Washington. A marijuana shop opens, Iz becomes a bodyguard, Aston Marsden moves to a cave, Jake launches a radio talk show, the truth about Dario is revealed, and entitled mutt Cheese Puff runs amok in a casino.

But before all that weirdness erupts, relentless rain sets substitute teacher Barbara Reed on edge. As rivers rise, residents fill sandbags, make plans to evacuate, complain, and quarrel. And a mud ball fight at the high school sets Barb up for a loathsome assignment she can’t refuse.

Chaos is, as usual, the default setting for substitute teacher Barbara Reed’s life in Reckless River, Washington. Her ex-husband is in trouble for lying to a judge, her overbearing sister is tailing her, and a series of error-ridden memos have teachers in an uproar. On top of that, if her condo complex doesn’t win the holiday decorating competition, residents may never be rid of their obnoxious manager. But nothing can stop Barb and her friends from heading to Las Vegas to see their wealthy neighbor Muriel Ballantine compete in a seasoned showgirl reality program.

When her colleagues take to the picket line, substitute teacher Barbara Reed joins the march. But solidarity gives way to suspicion when a school board member disappears.

Did one of her friends kidnap the most vocal opponent of a pay hike? Evidence points that way. But Barb doesn’t believe it.

She and her entitled mutt Cheese Puff set out to find the missing woman and identify the kidnapper. Nothing can stand in their way. Not the lack of clues. Not Barb’s promise to refrain from launching unofficial investigations. Not her bombastic sister. Not locked doors. And certainly not a gigantic yellow snake.